The Belles Blog

The Belles’ Official Statement By: Crickett




Hi there. Crickett checking back in for the Belles. I know it’s been some time, but this week has been a rough patch for all of us as we cope with the cancellation of the Breeland/Tucker wedding. As I’m sure you all know by now, it’s true that the storm that passed through BlueBell wreaked havoc on their relationship as well as the wedding. I’m here to confirm that the wedding is off and has no plans to be rescheduled. Such a tragedy.  So much wasted planning! Not that that’s what’s important here. No, not at all. Oh dear, I do tend to ramble a bit.

Anyway, we (the Belles) hope that you all can respect Lemon and give her some space during this difficult time. Although I, for one, have never been dumped before, it has been devastating to watch such a good friend go through it. And Lemon is one of the strongest women I know!  Thankfully, all wounds heal with time (well, that’s what AnnaBeth has told me, and she has some firsthand experience, having been left by her husband, too), and I’m sure us Belles will be able to help Lemon get back on her feet in no time.

After all, we are an incredibly supportive bunch. We appreciate everyone’s well wishes, but please don’t send casseroles. No one has died (although it might feel like it!), and with Lemon being single and all again, she definitely doesn’t need a ton of extra food hanging around the house. Also, we’ve had so many calls, we’ve had to disconnect the phones temporarily. Goodness, people. The lady in mourning needs her beauty sleep (not that Lemon isn’t naturally gorgeous because lord knows she is!). It’s just been a dark time at the Breelands, and there’s only so much us Belles and Dr. Breeland can do to help Lemon while she’s in such a fragile state.

And if y’all could spread the word to the neighboring communities, I’d be much obliged.

Until next time!

Magnolia's Stupid Mandatory Homework Blog

Magnolia’s Life – My First But Unfortunately Not My Last Entry By: Magnolia Breeland

I’m sure I know what you’re thinking- “Why is Magnolia writing some stupid blog?” Well it IS stupid but one of the things my English teacher Ms. Bradburn says we can do for extra credit this year is keep an online journal, and if I make good grades Daddy says for Christmas he’ll finally buy me the new cell phone I’ve had my eye on for weeks now.  So from here on out, it looks like I’ll be filling you in with all the details of my exciting life.

Right now, one of my biggest concerns is my sister Lemon.  As we all know, her recent wedding to George ended up being a complete disaster, and at the last minute they called it off.  It really worries me because I picked out a new comforter and sheets THREE MONTHS AGO for my room (aka Lemon’s old room) and now they’re just sitting in a box.  I mean, I haven’t even opened them yet because I wanted them to be brand new for the first night in my new bedroom- not to mention they don’t even fit my current bed.  I was ready to be the queen of the Breeland home, with a new queen sized bed to match- but those plans are now on hold indefinitely.

On top of that, living under Lemon’s roof feels like I might as well be going to military school.  She’s always telling me to do things that I just don’t have time for.  Case and point- two Fridays ago I asked my sister very politely to make sure my favorite pink sweater was clean when I came home, because I was going to wear it to Tonya’s party that night.  I came home from school and guess where my pink sweater was- right where I left it, under a pile of dirty clothes in my closet.  When I asked Lemon about it, she told me she wasn’t doing laundry until Sunday!  Two days AFTER the party.  Then she proceeds to tell me I should just do it myself.  I still can’t believe it.

Anyway, I hope my sister pulls it together soon because I’m tired of being stressed out over her, and until Lemon figures out what she’s going to do with her life, I can’t do anything with mine.  I’m sure you can understand my concerns.

Dash DeWitt

Dueling Salesmen: A Dash DeWitt Theater Experience By: Dash DeWitt



Dash DeWitt here, finally ready to share the harrowing but inspiring tale of this year’s Broadway pilgrimage. A tale of despair and a tale of hope. A tale of artistic failure and triumph. Let me explain.

This year I planned to see the kicky 1960s romp, “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.”  I was anticipating a fun-filled, raucous evening of catchy songs, pencil skirts and Jonas Brothers. However, due to a grave error, my now former travel agent got me tickets to the Philip Seymour Hoffman revival of Arthur Miller’s “Death of a Salesman.”

Now I know what you’re thinking. “Dash, it’s a classic!” “Dash, it was directed by stage/screen/comedy legend Mike Nichols!” “But Dash, you love Andrew Garfield!” These things are all true. But I am a man of principle, and my number one principle states that it is not worth going to see a Broadway show if there is no singing and/or dancing in it. I went all the way to New York and didn’t see one glittery costume! Talk about “attention must be paid!”

So when I returned to BlueBell, I set out to right this wrong, and four weeks later launched my original opus, the new Dash DeWitt musical “Dance of a Salesman!” (Yes, the exclamation point is part of the title.) An all-star BlueBell cast featured Eric Sunberg as Willy Loman, Beverly Mayfair as Linda Loman, and Tom Long as Biff.

Since the dreary ending of the original play obviously wouldn’t work for a musical, “Dance of a Salesman!” ends with Willy Loman’s proud family watching as his wins salesman of the year. At the ceremony Willy announces he is retiring, so he and Linda can take some time to travel the world. He hands off the family business to Biff, and they do a grand tap number to symbolize the passing of the torch. And then they actually pass a torch! The pyrotechnics in this show were divine, if I do say so myself.

Original songs included, “You Can’t Put a Price on a Salesman,” “Happy’s Happy To Live at Home,” and the big finale, “Attention Has Been Paid!” My original plan for Willy and Linda to ride in on an elephant during the finale did not pan out, so they led Burt Reynolds in on a leash instead. That had its own majesty, but I may try again with the elephant when we revive it.

So although my theater trip this year was incredibly disappointing, I am grateful that it inspired me to create my opus. And what kind of artist would I be if I couldn’t pull a glorious phoenix from the ashes of mediocrity?

Final reviews:

Death of a Salesman: C -

Dance of a Salesman!: A+

Wanda's Word

Wanda’s Word on Job Hunting By: Wanda

Dear Wanda,

I want nothing more than to launch my new life as a career lady (and get away from my parents, double UGH!).  I know I could be great at anything but …. I’ve never had a real job before. How did you get your job at the Rammer Jammer? What do you think could help me land that first gig? I’d sure appreciate some knowing advice from a successful girl like you.


A hopefully-soon-to-be Workin’ Girl


Hey there Workin’ Girl!

I applaud your gumption and independence! I’m always happy to help a fellow career lady out! What I would do first is to take a good long gander at the BlueBell Gazette for postings. Sure my Uncle Wally owns the Rammer Jammer, but  found my first job at Susie’s in the Want Ads in the Gazette! And don’t you forget to think outta the box, honey! Are you good with animals? Try offering your services as a dog walker or a pet sitter! Everyone knows Shula is always looking for someone to watch her cats on Bible Study night. And don’t be too big for your britches, neither. Everyone’s gotta start somewhere…even if that somewhere is picking the dandelions outta Old  Man Jackson’s yard. (And take it from me doll- don’t be asking him why a lawnmower wouldn’t do just as well…best to just do what he says!)

Getting your first job can be scary – I know my heart felt like a net full of butterflies on my first interview. The trick is to just keep your confidence up! Put on a pretty outfit and get your hair done. Hit the town feelin’ your best and that’ll show! Once you do a good job with one customer others will be sure to follow. Before you know it you’ll be as busy as a stump-tailed cow in fly time! Best of luck to ya, honey! You can do it!

If any of ya’ll reading this need advice with something in your lives, I’ll do my best to help!  Write to me at

Big hugs,


Rose's BlueBell Beat

Calling All BlueBellians for Post-Storm Clean-up! By: Rose Hattenbarger




I know everyone in BlueBell is up in arms about whatever happened with George and Lemon, including myself. (Aspiring activists love gossip too!) But seriously, there are much bigger fish to fry. In the midst of Hurricane Lemon came an actual, slightly more dangerous hurricane, which ripped through our town, nearly destroying everything in its path. I don’t know if I’ve seen anything so devastating since Will Arnett and Amy Poehler split up.

So instead of dwelling on the Lemon and George debacle, I’m calling upon the people of BlueBell to come together! If each and every one of us come down to Town Square and help out for just an hour, we could make a huge difference! I have complete faith in my fellow BlueBellians. In the midst of tragedy comes the best example of community. And if there happen to be any cute boys there and we, say, reach for the same rake, and then we laugh and then he wipes a piece of debris out of my hair, so be it.