Rose's BlueBell Beat

Rose’s Choice By: Rose Hattenbarger

 

 

Hey there, BlueBellians. Election season is upon us, my favorite time of the year after Earth Day and the Golden Globes! Though I am still tragically three years shy of the legal voting age, I always look forward to going into the booth with my mom, talking her into voting for the best candidate, and pulling the levers for her. And this year actually poses a challenge – Mayor Hayes is running opposed!

I know what you’re thinking and yes, Lavon is my friend, and yes, he let me wear the Yellow Hammer costume to impress Frederick Dean (who is so 2011), and he’s let me have many pieces of cake in his kitchen while visiting Zoe and they’re always delicious. But as a feminist, I have to give a lot of props and consideration to Ruby Jeffries, a woman, a captain of industry, an all around role model.  Would it be un-feminist of me not to vote for Ruby Jeffries?

But on the other hand, doesn’t she seem kind of vaguely evil? And also, last time she lived in BlueBell, reality TV wasn’t even a thing yet.  Lavon has been active in the BlueBell community for as long as I can remember – even when he was off in the NFL, he was always visiting and sending cool paraphernalia, he didn’t just peace out like Ruby did. He’s always there for Zoe when she’s in a fix, which is often, and has always just been a good guy and a good mayor.

So honestly, Readers, I’m kind of on the fence as to who to tell my mom to vote for. I guess I could let her decide for herself? But why risk it? I will have to wait and see how the campaign shakes out.

The Tom Long and Short of It

Mayor’s Lament By: Tom Long

 

 

 

Lavon, Lavon – he’s been treating us well

Ya’ll seem to be happy, that’s easy to tell

But now a new face has come to stir the pot

Easy on the eyes, too. Let’s give her a shot.

But what will this new competition do to our town?

It sure is enough to bring the community down.

 

Personally, I think the big question is clear,

Why didn’t I know we could run against Lavon this year?

I’d be a swell Mayor – I’d change all the rules

For those hot summer days, I’d put in some pools

And Zoe, impressed, would say, “I’ve always loved you.”

And I’d say “Sorry, Doc, more important things to do.”

 

No point in dreaming – I guess it’s too late

Apparently Ruby’s the new candidate

I don’t need to be Mayor – this gaffe was heaven sent

Because now I have time to run for President.

Magnolia's Stupid Mandatory Homework Blog

Life is still giving me Lemons… By: Magnolia Breeland

 

 

 

This week in school we started to read Oliver Twist, and I guess we’re supposed to feel all bad for him because he’s an orphan. But honestly, I can think of worse things than not having stupid parents or a stupid sister getting in your space.

Yep, you guessed it, my sister Lemon is still living with me and Daddy!  I can’t explain how disappointed I actually am because Daddy says we need to be there for Lemon in her time of need, but what about my time of need?  Like what about my need to NOT have someone breathing down my neck every time I have to do homework (she’s standing over my shoulder as I type)?  Or also, my need for a large, walk-in closet. I have way too many clothes for their current storage space and they get all jammed together, which is why they’re supposed to be in my new, huge closet, in my new, huge bedroom, that unfortunately Lemon is still acting like she’s the queen of.

I guess one good way to look at Lemon still living with us is that it’s made me spend a lot more time away from the house, playing my music.  I really love playing the guitar and I’ve been writing a bunch of new songs- Rose Hattenbarger even asked me to play in the town music festival recently. It was really cool!  You know, sometimes Rose isn’t so bad.  Still though, it just made me realize even more that I can’t wait till I’m 18 so I can move to Nashville and become a big country star.  The day I get out of BlueBell will be the best day of my life!  Until then, I guess I’ll just be doing homework and practically living like an Amish person under Lemon’s roof, unless I’m lucky like Oliver Twist and some rich old dude adopts me and buys me a mansion.

BlueBell Sports Corner

Women’s Beach Volleyball Team Set to Arrive By: BlueBell Sports Corner

 

 

After amassing a 17 – 2 state record in California, the Seal Beach Lady Strikers make a pit stop this Tuesday in BlueBell en route to Florida for the Holly Hill Beach Volleyball Championship.  Although only a two day stay, the women have a considerable amount of free time to sightsee and delight in local flavors since BlueBell lacks beaches, making practice a near impossibility.  With the Big Blue football team on a bye week and A Midsummer Night’s Dream: A Dash DeWitt Joint recently concluding its run, the team is expected to spend most of its time in the Rammer Jammer under the sterling service of Wade Kinsella.  If a nature jaunt more suits the Lady Strikers, they’d be wise to join George Tucker who lately upped his status from occasional fisherman to avid angler.  Whichever they choose (and if they need advice they can ask Zoe Hart), Mayor Lavon Hayes and all of BlueBell will surely roll out the red carpet, pour a sweet tea, and show these volleyball players our hospitable charms.

Wanda's Word

Wanda’s Word on Relationships By: Wanda

 

 

Hey ya’ll!  Thanks for checking out my little piece of the town website again.  I’m having so much fun with all the sweet letters and emails I’ve been getting.  Turns out, there might be more folks who want my advice than I thought!  At this rate I’m not gonna have any time to make Tom frozen pizzas while he plays in WOW tournaments every Monday night- or Tuesday afternoons, or Wednesday evenings, Thursday late nights, or… Well let’s just get started.

This email comes from Shiloh.  Shiloh writes:

“Hi Wanda!

       You and Tom make such an adorable couple.  :) Screw Chase Cobb- whatever happened with him anyway?”

Well Shiloh, aren’t you just sweeter than my Aunt June’s peach cobbler!?!  (and for the record, I think Tom & I make a pretty adorable couple too!)  As far as my ex goes, ultimately Chase and I just didn’t share the same values in a relationship, so it didn’t work out.  He was messy, inconsiderate, he didn’t like musicals, he could start an argument in an empty house… oh, and he cheated on me and gave me syphilis.  At the time, part of me knew it wasn’t meant to be but he was my first boyfriend and I was so excited! Besides, when you really care about someone, you don’t always see their flaws and sometimes you end up letting things slide that would even make a preacher cuss! But everything in life teaches us something and the biggest lesson I learned is not to let someone else drag me down.  If you’re generally a happy person, you gotta stop acting crazier than a sprayed roach and figure out how to pull yourself out of a bad situation!  Once that happens, you never know what great things might come into your life.  Hope that finally puts this whole mystery about my ex to rest.  I gotta run- Tom just walked in, and he’s taking me out on his new tandem bike this afternoon!

If anyone out there needs some advice or just has a fun question for me, I’m happy to help!  Email me at wandasword@gmail.com

Big Hugs,

Wanda