Wanda's Word

Wanda’s Word on Jobs By: Wanda



Happy Halloween, readers! Halloween is the busiest time of year at the Rammer Jammer, between all the festivities and certain co-workers of mine sneaking off to do Lord knows what and leave me to cover every table by myself. I have been working my tail off this past week! Which is why I was so happy to receive this letter from Stacey.

Stacey writes,

Dear Wanda,

I’m starting my first real job soon and I’m really nervous, any tips for keeping calm? I always enjoy reading your advice to others.

Thanks in advance,

Stacey, I totally feel for you. When I started my first job, I was a total wreck! Talk about scary! Anyone wanting to scare me on Halloween should dress up as my first boss. The weird thing about starting your first real job is, your whole life you have your parents or your teachers or whoever looking out for you – in the work force, what people care about is what you can do for them. I think once you realize that, and try to be the best helper you can be, it’s much easier to get into the swing of things.

Also, treat your co-workers like bears! (Hear me out…) They’re just as afraid of you as you are of them! And just as nervous. Think of them as allies instead of potential critics.

And be your charming, friendly self! People will forgive little mess-ups when you’re first starting out if you’re someone who is easy and pleasant to work with. And if it makes you feel better, it can’t go any worse than my first job – I started doing off the books piercings and I gave everyone syphilis! So, I guess I’d say, try and avoid that.

Now go get it, girl! You’re gonna do great. I know it!

Big hugs,



If any of ya’ll reading this need advice with something in your lives, I’ll do my best to help!  Write to me at wandasword@gmail.com

Rose's BlueBell Beat

Happy Halloween! By: Rose Hattenbarger




Finally! My absolute favorite holiday (besides my birthday, of course) is here! Halloween! I don’t know about you, but I think it takes entirely too long for Halloween to come and it goes by far too fast. It’s not even the dressing up. It’s the decorations! The festivities! The jack-o-lanterns! Nothing is better than Halloween in BlueBell. It’ll especially give us a nice break from all of this Election craziness! I will be dressing up as Carrie Bradshaw (post series, pre movies, obviously) but some other clever and popular costumes have been roaming around Town Square. Here’s my list of the Best Halloween Costumes of 2012!


Psy (the Gangnam Style guy)

The newly independent and strong-willed Lemon Breeland

Old school Lemon Breeland, in a wedding dress, Miss Havisham style

US Olympic Gold Medalist McKayla Maroney (she’s my favorite!)

Honey Boo Boo (sadly not such a stretch for some)


Don’t forget, any and all costumes can always be done as a monster or ghost (Honey BOO BOO?).


Happy Trick-or-Treating! Hopefully you get loads of great candy and no pennies or floss. Ick.


Happy Halloween!!

Dash DeWitt

Dash DeWitt Supports Lavon Hayes By: Dash DeWitt




Voters may be waiting for the debate, but The Blawer is already convinced: we fully endorse another term for Mayor Lavon Hayes.

Despite Mayor Hayes rebuffing me as campaign manager and going with a greenhorn, Lemon Breeland is running a clean campaign—kudos to her.  Meanwhile, Ruby Jeffries debases the political conversation by resorting to mudslinging.  The facts were still coming in when Ms. Jeffries alerted The BlueBell Gazette about a potential Hayes scandal that turned out to be false.  This is not an attempt to disqualify Ruby Jeffries; this is about supporting a man with a sterling record.


The facts:

Our economy is thriving.  Business is booming at the Rammer Jammer, Butterstick Bakery, and Pageturners.

He’s been tough on crime, even though we don’t have much in the terms of crime.

The streets are spotless.  Think back, do you recall any litter during his tenure?

There’s almost always sunshine.  You would be surprised what an enterprising mayor is capable of.

This is why The Blawker wants more of the same… the same ole success.

Wanda's Word

Wanda’s Word on Presents By: Wanda




Hey there, y’all! Welcome to another week of Wanda’s Word! There has been so much going on, I barely know where to begin. The Rammer Jammer has been chock full of action this week. First, Lemon tried the surprise omelet, which I didn’t think was a great idea, and it turned out not to be, especially since she spent the next few days sipping on ginger ales. If only people listened to me when I told them to avoid things. Like, Dr. Hart getting a bit out of hand on a date with a too few many glasses of wine. Now, I know I work in a bar, but I thought the doctor would have some better sense than that. And even though I told Wade it’d be a good idea to cut her off, he totally ignored me. Typical. Anyway, she got sodrunk that she ended up making a fool of herself and possible wrecking Mayor Hayes’ campaign. I know, I know. Like I said, it’s been a crazy week in BlueBell. Hopefully things’ll calm down a bit and we can get to the things that matter. Like you folks. Speaking of which, I had a lovely write-in question.

Dear Wanda, 

 First of all: I think you must be a really happy lady to be with Tom Long. He is so handsome. My question now is: Do you have any idea what i could get a best friend for her birthday?

I can’t think of things I didn’t get her the years before and no one could help me by now.

 Thank you for being there, Lou :)


Well, hey there, Lou! Thank you…I am quite happy with Tom Long. He is handsome, isn’t he? I think he’s the most handsome man in BlueBell, and there’s a lot of competition for that title! And as for your best friend, I’m sure whatever you get her she will love. Who doesn’t love presents? And remember that some of the best presents can’t be wrapped. Like a nice dinner out or a surprise party? I love parties! Just make sure it’s something personal and sweet – my ex, Chase Cobb, wrote me a check once for my birthday! Not okay, fellas.

Hope that helps!

Big Hugs,



And don’t forget, if you need advice, I want to help! Email wandasword@gmail.com – Until next time!


The Tom Long and Short of It

The Ballad of Tom Long By: Tom Long




BlueBell is a-buzzing with this tight mayoral race

And the Belles, they still run this town with dignity and grace.

And my girl Wanda serves the meals and doles out salt and pepper,

But I’m still stuck on the other week, when I almost was a leper.


No, seriously, was I supposed to move on and forget?

Despite my OK from the doc I went and saw a vet

And he said “Tom, you are not sick, at most you have a cough.”

But I could not rest easy – what if my legs fell off??


When you are close to death as I, you reevaluate

I’m now as sure as ever that it’s Wanda I should date.

And Zoe, I am over you, my flame for you is out.

Wanda is the one for me, there’s hardly any doubt.


It’s hard to bring myself to care about this election anymore.

When I have come so very close to knocking on death’s door.

But I know what’s important now so I guess it’s kind of handy

To have a fateful run-in with that armadillo, Randy.