A Sprinkle of Rain on Our Parade By: Annabeth

Another year means another glorious Founder’s Day celebration for BlueBell! With concerts, fireworks, barbecues, and, of course, our traditional parade, we really outdid ourselves for the 309th birthday of our wonderful town.

Under the meticulous eye of the superb Lemon Breeland, everything ran smoothly and without incident. At least until that Dr. Zoe Hart inexplicably drove the mayor’s float into ours and destroyed the parade. But up until then, the event was really quite splendid.

Now I know what everyone is thinking and yes, I was prepared to go on the Belles’ float and dance with my girls in case Lemon’s cousin Betty was too badly injured to go on. I know people are saying Lemon would not allow me to dance, but that is just absurd! And dirty, dirty gossip! I simply stepped aside, as I did not think it would be fair to overshadow Lemon’s visiting cousin from Huntsville. Any rumors that I have “two left feet” are greatly exaggerated. I was invaluable on the sidelines as Lemon’s assistant choreographer, providing emotional support as the rest of the Belles performed the sensational Spanish waltz.

But let’s get back to the biggest snafu of the day and talk about Zoe Hart. What on earth possessed her to ruin our parade? Here she is, coming all the way from big, bad New York City and striking havoc on BlueBell’s most favorite event of the year. Who does that woman think she is? For someone who calls herself a doctor, Zoe sure is breaking more than she fixes. I was skeptical when she first arrived in BlueBell but now I (and surely all my fellow BlueBellians) am sure she is truly a menace.

I would like to use this forum to express my deep regret that Zoe Hart feels the need to destroy everything that Lemon Breeland and the BlueBell community hold near and dear. But with her flailing reputation and her inability to entice any patients, I have a feeling that Dr. Zoe Hart won’t be around when BlueBell turns 310.


October in BlueBell By: Calendar

October 1
Founder’s Day Parade
Celebrate Cyrus Lavinius Jermemiah Jones with a parade in his honor. Voted favorite BlueBell event 12 years in a row!

October 5
World Teacher’s Day
Tell your favorite teacher you appreciate all of his or her hard work.

October 7
High School Football
Come cheer on our boys. Go Big Blue!

October 9
Gumbo Cook Off
Get your tastebuds ready because this will surely be a delicious afternoon.

October 11
Fire Safety at Firehouse
Stop, drop and roll! Come on by to learn how to put out and prevent fires.

October 13
Halloween Costume Making Class
Be original! Carol Lee Jones teaches you how to make a homemade costume that everyone in town will be talking about.

October 14
High School Football
Come cheer on our boys. Go Big Blue!

October 15-16
Apple Festival
Pies, ciders, sauces, oh my! How do you like them apples?

October 19
BlueBell Film Society
Come to the library for a screening of Persona followed by a discussion moderated by Dash DeWitt. Swedish meatballs will be served.

October 21
High School Football
Come cheer on our boys. Go Big Blue!

October 22
Noteworthy Concert
BlueBell’s very own a cappella group sings your favorite songs. Requests will be taken!

October 27
City Council Meeting
Be heard! Come to a meeting to discuss your thoughts and concerns about BlueBell

October 28
High School Football
Come cheer on our boys. Go Big Blue!

October 29-30
Halloween Party
Boo! Spooky creatures are aplenty. There will also be hayrides, haunted houses and a corn maze. Not for the faint of heart!

October 31
Happy Halloween!
Have fun trick or treating! Be safe!


I Carried a Watermelon By: Rose

The Watermelon Festival took place this past Saturday in the park. Even I’m getting a little too old for such a twee event. I used to love the Watermelon Festival. Like looooove. But as I’ve gotten older, it’s only gotten more and more infantile. No one’s to blame here. This is a perfect festivity for little kids and their parents. There are tons of easy carnival games as well as a bunch of arts & crafts stations. This year I made earrings with plastic watermelons hanging from them. I will wear them ironically, of course. Additionally, there were lots of watermelon-inspired food and beverages for sale. The watermelon slushies were delicious. However, the fried watermelon was disgusting. Some things should just not be fried. Overall, the Watermelon Festival was a pleasant event but way too babyish for a fourteen year old like myself.

Ed note: The recent melon epidemic was due to tainted cantaloupe. Watermelon was not affected so there should be no worries.

Ask Susie

Ask Susie By: Susie

Q: Dear Susie,

I’m a local shrimper guy who’s been single ever since my high school sweetheart dumped me for the cashier at Nate’s Hardware. I spend most days alone out on the Gulf. I still enjoy it, but I’m getting close to 30 and I’d love to have someone to come home and make shrimp chowder for. The other day, I met a nice girl at a pool party. Shrimping keeps me in shape, so I don’t have a problem talking to women with my shirt off. However, with my shirt on, well that’s another story. My closet is pretty basic: white t-shirts and jeans that have a salt stain or two. I feel like clothes shouldn’t matter, but after talking to the ladies in my office, they forced me to write you. I’m taking this new girl out to Fancie’s this weekend. Is it okay to dress as my normal, basic self? I think she should like me for me, but I suppose I’m willing to make a change or two if it helps me find my shrimpette.

Please help,

Simple Shrimper

A: Dear Simple Shrimper

If only you could go on all your dates with your shirt off. Then, you’d be sure to secure a shrimp sweetheart. But, my simple shrimper, we ladies enjoy events other than jet skiing and gigging. We like to go to concerts, nice dinners, fancy parties, and we generally appreciate a man that wears more than his skivvies. That’s not to say that we’re trying to change you (though we might improve you a little), we just like to see that you’re trying. A man that wears a t-shirt and stained jeans to a nice dinner seems like a man that isn’t going to put much effort into our relationship. And that’s what you want, right – to find your shrimp cocktail of love? (okay, I’ll stop now).

Here’s what you do: go to those ladies in your office who so dutifully made you write to me; tell them that you desperately need their opinion if you’re ever to secure a mate. Head to the mall in Mobile and make sure they don’t let you leave until you secure a pair of khakis, a pair of brown shoes, and a button down shirt. Make sure you buy a fitted shirt and pants with NO pleats (the lack of pleats is of paramount importance here, you don’t want to look like a saggy balloon all night). Oh, and get a belt. A belt is key. Some men forget about this ever-important accessory. Not only does a belt keep your pants up but it also flatters your shape (and from how you described yourself with no shirt on, I’m guessing you have a nice shape – show it off!). If you do all this, I am certain your date will appreciate the effort you put in, and it’ll greatly improve your chances at that late night bowl of chowder.

Yours truly,


Dash DeWitt

Restaurant Review, The Butter Stick By: Dash DeWitt

Much like old friends, restaurants are often lauded based not on any present-day excellence but rather the mirage of the past. Behind the smoke and mirrors of fond memory, a bland soufflé crackles with imagined flavor and depth, a one-time fire-alarm jambalaya secretly hits snooze, and an overly dry slice of Grandma’s coffee cake simply possesses “character.” It is only the brave amongst us who give our time honored institutions no safe haven in nostalgia, who dare look them in the eye and ask to be met here, in this moment, and not in the Land of the Used To Be.

Walking into the Butter Stick this past weekend, I feared the worst. This was, after all, a bakery, a peddler of sugar, an establishment whose sole purpose is to create sweet confections not only in palate but demeanor. These are agreeable treats aiming to please, not impress. Without aspiration, what space could there be for ingenuity?

And yet here I was, Angus’ familiar sweet tea in my hand, the beverage still exceeding all expectations past or present, the tea’s sweetness tiptoeing its edge without ever plunging into the depths of the saccharine, and I knew immediately that my fear was misplaced. Spread amongst the Butter Stick’s tried and true – Aunt Mae’s Carrot Cake, Pumpkin Pound Cake, Shelton’s Peanut Butter clusters, all still executed to perfection – were little flares of the here and now. The Hummingbird Cake, as nimble in flavor as its namesake in flight, combines the tropical flare of pineapple and coconut with the Southern staples of cinnamon and walnut. The Salted Caramel Chocolate Fritter cupcakes, though an abomination in thought, avoid bombast, the interplay between savory and sweet a work of subtle delicacy. And its signature Breakfast Skillet bread pudding, with its pops of caramelized bacon and sharp cheddar interspersed in a fluffy pillow of brown butter brioche, is a coronary I don’t mind risking. It is not often when this reviewer is wrong, but in this case, I admit my folly. I’m sorry I doubted you, Butter Stick, and I will never doubt you again.

Recap: The Butter Stick Bakery has proven to me that the familiar is just fine, and that friends of old can surprise you still. A Quadruple Dash.