Stop, Drop, and Roll Tide – Because Alabama is ON FIRE! By: AnnaBeth

BlueBell has been hit with another freaky fall heat wave. And everyone knows that when the weather here gets out-of-control, even those who ordinarily conduct themselves with the highest levels of decorum are occasionally driven to do the most ludicrous things. For example, my mama called me this morning, simply beside herself because she forgot about her standing Monday appointment at Susie’s, which, in and of itself, is a catastrophe of Snooki-sized proportions. And then my call waiting beep-beeped.

It was my darling husband (thank goodness, because mama could have gone on about her wilted weave for hours) calling to saying he’d made reservations for the two of us at Fancie’s that night. It wasn’t my birthday, so I knew the heat had him feeling romantic. And I was excited to wear the new halter dress I’d bought in Mobile the other day (I confess, the heat might have caused me to let loose a little, too). I should have been slightly hesitant about going to the restaurant in BlueBell since my face and hair looked like half a wreck. But even the most gifted ‘Bama belle can only do so much in this kind of humidity.

So while the hubby and I are at Fancie’s, having the most delightful night, though they sat us at this wretched table right by the restrooms, probably because Fancie’s was packed. I mean, everyone in town was there, even the mayor, who looked to be on a date with that new girl from out of town. No, sillies, not Dr. Zoe Hart, but rather the sweet Southern one who is working for George Tucker… Who was also at Fancie’s, with his beautiful fiancée Lemon Breeland! My, my, what a small town!

Lemon and George had the best table in the house, obviously. And their table was quite abuzz with activity! Lemon had been fretting all week about this very important dinner with her future in-laws, and from my imperfect vantage point everyone seemed to be having a grand time. At one point, the mayor and his date even joined them! I think the men were talking football, from their wild hand gestures. Luckily, my hubby was facing me (and the men’s room), or I would have most certainly lost him to their conversation. Boys will always be boys.

The mayor and Didi excused themselves early — so one can only assume their date was going exceedingly well. The heat gets to even nice Southern girls, and the mayor is BlueBell’s most eligible bachelor. But then, as she tends to do in any dignified situation, into Fancie’s burst Dr. Zoe Hart to ruin a perfectly nice meal for Lemon and her family. In shorts. Of course. Does that girl own a sundress? Or even a skirt?

Our table was too far away to hear anything good, and my annoying husband kept trying to whisper sweet nothings in my ear, but from what I could tell Dr. Zoe Hart faked some sort of head wound (not very well, I might add) as a ruse to lure Brick out of Lemon’s dinner, which Lemon saw right through — she’s a very good judge of character — and when Zoe Hart continued to blather on and on, Lemon simply got up and walked away, to make a point that she was above all these silly, childish games. And unfortunately that’s all I could gather from where I was sitting. Hubby and I finished off our meal with a to-die-for chocolate soufflé and some champagne. All in all, it was a pretty delicious evening.

Police Logs

10/9 – 10/15 By: Police Log

10/9 The traffic light at Main and Camellia was out of service for over three hours. Police officers had to direct traffic while it was repaired.

10/11 An elderly man tripped on the sidewalk outside The Dixie Stop. Besides scraping his face and breaking his glasses, the man was okay.

10/14 Vulgar graffiti was reported in the men’s bathroom at The Rammer Jammer. It was quickly painted over.


Gumbo-shoe By: AnnaBeth

It isn’t fall without BlueBell’s annual gumbo cook-off! This year’s competition was a huge success, as usual. Brick Breeland won of course. His gumbo is absolutely to die for and his speeches are always so funny! Sometimes I think he should try stand-up or something! Unfortunately, my own gumbo entry was somewhat lackluster this year. I knew I wouldn’t beat Brick, but I was hoping for at least second place! And I know could have done it too, but my attentions were elsewhere.

Lemon asked me to keep an eye on a certain new BlueBell resident for her. Because I am a true friend to Lemon, and because monitoring this NYC import is important for our community, I put my own gumbo aside and took to the streets to track Dr. Zoe Hart’s every movement.

I was appalled to find that, in the morning, Zoe always has breakfast with the mayor. With no makeup on! And if you think the way she dresses in public is bad, you have not seen anything until you see what she wears behind closed doors — clearly this girl has never owned a proper nightgown!

It was hard to spy on Zoe while she was doing her doctor work. I tried to listen in through a window, but she was using large and presumably vulgar doctor terms, and I had a hard time following. Then my friend Alexis called to tell me they were having a sale at Colette’s! I had to get over there right away. When I returned to Zoe’s office, she was gone! I couldn’t fail Lemon like that, so I looked all over town for her, but no one knew where she was. I went all over BlueBell: to the Rammer Jammer, the mayor’s office, checked Mane Street (though it’s clear that girl has not had her hair done in ages). I ended up driving three towns over and no one had seen a lady doctor in tiny shorts.

I gave up and came back to BlueBell. Sadly, I’d been gone so long I had no time to perfect my gumbo. Sure, it wasn’t flawless but it was pretty darn tasty. So imagine my dismay when my second place prize went to none other than Dr. Zoe Hart! I don’t know how she pulled that off. I can only hope that Dr. Hart goes back to her fancy city by the next gumbo cook-off, and I can finally get my second place medal.


I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Gumbo? By: Rose

I rarely eat gumbo. In fact, I only eat it once a year. But on that one day I eat A LOT of it; all thanks to BlueBell’s annual gumbo cook-off. This year’s competition was pretty much standard fare (yet definitely delicious). Held at the Rammer Jammer, there were multiple entries in the battle of which BlueBeller cooked the best southern style stew. No surprise here, Dr. Breeland once again won first place. Although, I have to commend new BlueBell resident, Dr. Zoe Hart, on placing second. Her gumbo was out of this world. Seriously! Clearly, she brought her New York City foodie-ness to this year’s cook-off. It’s common knowledge that NYC is like one of the best cities in the world for food (as well as the best city for like a billion other reasons, obviously). From the use of molecular gastronomy to fabulous dim sum to the raw food movement (as evidenced in the “Sex and the City” episode Great Sexpectations when Samantha first meets Smith while he’s working at the restaurant Raw), New York knows good food. Fortunately for everyone in BlueBell, we now have our very own cosmopolitan chef. Next thing you know we’ll all be eating sushi and knishes.

BlueBell Sports Corner

CLJ Jones High School Fall Sports: Player Profiles By: BlueBell Sports Corner

Name:             Matt “Dubba Bubba” Bowens

Sport:              Boys’ Cross Country

Grade:            Junior

Height:            5’9”

Weight:           158 lbs

Big Blue was a perennial Big Boo in Cross Country until Matt “Dubba Bubba” Bowens emerged last season, leading CL-double-J to a solid Not Last finish at the Baldwin County Regionals. He returns this year as team captain and looks to improve upon his surprising sophomore run. Matt took a break from practice to answer some questions.

Tell us how your summer training went?

Pretty good. Coach Maliska told me to stay away from The Butter Stick, and I did. Though I can’t say I don’t miss those snickerdoodle cookies each and everyday…

 Best times in a 5K race?

19:37, which is also the year my grandpap was born. This year, I’d like to get that time down to Civil War-range.

What are your goals for the upcoming season?

It’d be nice to lead Big Blue to a 5th place finish in the division. But I really think potential’s there for 4th, or maybe even 3rd. Ducky Beason graduating hurts, sure, but the Harker Twins spent the entire summer running up in Mobile and Sam Clift’s all healed up from last year, so we’ve got a shot at it.

What is your favorite course to run in your state?

The Swamp Womp [Invitational] over in Rochon. That’s some real Alabama off-road running there. It can get pretty dirty but that’s part of the fun!

How long have you been running and how did you get started?

I didn’t really run much ‘til freshman year. Mama said I needed to lose my “big ol’ jello bowl,” so I signed up for the team. Haven’t looked back since.

Favorite cross country memory?

When I lapped my older brother Bubba last year. Everyone called me Dubba Bubba ‘cause I was twice his size. Now it’s ‘cause I’m twice as fast.

Favorite quote?

Everyone always quotes Steve “Pre” Fontaine: “To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.” But I’m a bit partial to Wendy Liebman: “I go running when I have to. When the ice cream truck is doing sixty.”