AnnaBeth

Burning Bridges By: AnnaBeth

After finishing my fourth pancake I am finally in the right state of mind to go over the events of this past week. I must say, I have not been my normal chipper self and I was ready to complain all up and down this page, but there’s something about four fluffy little pillows of dough blessed by none other than the Lord himself to take your temperature down from Amazonian to somewhere more pleasant.

But, this whole situation with the Memory Matrons, well, it threw me for a spell. Let me catch you up. The mayor had some extra money in his budget and Lemon thought she could impress Delia Ann by putting in a bid to reconstruct the old bridge over Jumping Frog Creek. I loved that bridge as much as anyone – I walked through it on my way to school as a girl, I even had my first kiss in there – but I knew this was an exercise in futility from the start. There would be no winning over Mayor Hayes, and there is no impressing that Delia Ann – no matter how delicious your scale model is.

Lemon refused to pull any stop, and ours had to be the most delicious, the most accurate, the most beautiful scale model of a bridge ever constructed by six women in south-western, coastal Alabama. Lemon is a friend, a confidante, and what I consider to be a big sister, but boy can she be a pain when she gets her sights set on something.

Crickett and I were assigned to the grocery list and if there ever was a woman with a shorter attention span, I have not met her. Instead of helping me with our list, I found her in the back of the store with a full pumpkin of Halloween candy, wearing a witch hat AND a nurse’s outfit. I was not the least bit amused. I really could’ve used the help and I personally don’t believe in mixing the health care industry with the occult.

Anyhow, we showed up with our groceries only to have Lemon throw them all out. The sugar cubes weren’t sturdy enough, the taffy not sticky enough, the graham crackers would never hold water in a BlueBell monsoon and the combination of it all tasted like a sweat sock left out in the sun. Four trips later (including one to a specialty shop in Mobile), Lemon finally approved the ingredients. We spent four hours building everything to scale only to hear that the mayor had canceled our pitch because George Tucker convinced him to widen the road during some chest-bumping, arm-wrestling, macho display at a basketball game.

Well, I’m sure my most faithful readers will not be surprised, but I let Mayor Hayes have it. I found him at the Rammer Jammer and gave him have a piece of my mind, and we are not talking about the many friendly parts. It was from the angry, graham cracker shopping for four hours with a woman who will only talk about what nail polish is best for her pet cat part of my mind. If you were there, I apologize for my outburst.

Oh, what’s this? I just heard the greatest news! I suppose my little rant has paid off because the mayor found some money in the budget for our little bridge after all. Hooray! The rumor is that it has something to do with jock itch? I’m not sure if I just heard that wrong, but I am darn sure that I do not want to know.

Ask Susie

Ask Susie By: Susie

Q: Dear Susie,

My husband and I have been happily married for almost 10 years. I’m generally not a suspicious woman, but my Kevin seems different lately. He’s usually as punctual as the BlueBell bus; however, lately he’s been coming home from work later and later, always telling me he stopped for a drink at the Rammer Jammer. And this is from a guy who’s never been much of a drinker! I saw him chatting with Bethany Tattersall at the Pancake Breakfast the other day, and my jealousy got the better of me. Kevin and I have six kids together and I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t take care of my looks the way I used to. What can I do to make sure his eyes stay on me and only me?

Sincerely,

Nervous Nellie

 

A: Dear Nervous Nellie,

I have a lot of tips if you’re looking to spice up your look. A new hairstyle is always a great way to change things up. Perhaps add some layers or experiment with highlights? As for your clothes, maybe introduce some new colors to your wardrobe. Black is making a bit of a comeback in town due to our New York influence. Plus, it’s very slimming!

But if you do choose to change your look, Nellie, make sure you’re doing it for YOU, and not Kevin. Nothing is less flattering than desperation, and changing yourself to please your man is only a temporary fix anyway. But if you spice up your look in ways that makes YOU happy, then your new confidence will shine through and your husband will find you irresistible! I promise you.

And if that doesn’t work, then I say give him a piece of your mind and tell him you’ll slap him silly if he ever looks at another woman. You’ve had six kids, I think you’re long past subtlety.

Yours truly,

Susie

Rose's BlueBell Beat

In Need of Brunch By: Rose

One of the monthly events I always look forward to the most is the pancake breakfast that Reverend Mayfair and his wife, Beverly, throw. Breakfast is by far my favorite meal of the day. I love it! But something I know I would also love is brunch.  Brunch is the best of both worlds: the choice between breakfast or lunch. Eggs or a club sandwich? Waffles or a chopped salad?. However, there’s more to brunch than just eating. It’s a time to catch up with your friends, discuss how everyone’s weeks were as well as recall how the previous night’s activities went down. Brunch is basically a weekly gossipfest with your besties (as evidenced in nearly every episode of Sex and the City). Sadly, BlueBell doesn’t do brunch. I recently brought up the idea of adding a brunch menu to Shelley at the Rammer Jammer and she just looked at me like I was speaking Portuguese. Therefore I doubt BlueBell will be brunching it up any time soon. But I’m not worried. I know one day I will have my brunch moment and inevitable become an active weekend brunch-goer. Preferably in New York and at Balthazar.

Featured Hometown Journal

Real Estate Listing of the Week! By: Babs Foster

Ever dream of owning a store in BlueBell? Here’s your chance! Beautiful storefront for sale on bustling Main Street. Situated next to Nate’s Hardware, this idyllic location is perfect for a small shop. Antiques? Shoes? Jewelry? The possibilities are endless! Can be yours for $140,000. Turn your dreams into reality by calling Babs Foster Realty today!

Police Logs

10/16 – 10/22 By: Police Log

10/16 Multiple calls to 911 of people fainting due to the heat. Fortunately, no serious injuries or deaths reported.

10/19 A small altercation took place at the PTA meeting at BlueBell Elementary. Two mothers fought over what to serve at the school’s Halloween party.