BlueBell is a-buzzing with this tight mayoral race
And the Belles, they still run this town with dignity and grace.
And my girl Wanda serves the meals and doles out salt and pepper,
But I’m still stuck on the other week, when I almost was a leper.
No, seriously, was I supposed to move on and forget?
Despite my OK from the doc I went and saw a vet
And he said “Tom, you are not sick, at most you have a cough.”
But I could not rest easy – what if my legs fell off??
When you are close to death as I, you reevaluate
I’m now as sure as ever that it’s Wanda I should date.
And Zoe, I am over you, my flame for you is out.
Wanda is the one for me, there’s hardly any doubt.
It’s hard to bring myself to care about this election anymore.
When I have come so very close to knocking on death’s door.
But I know what’s important now so I guess it’s kind of handy
To have a fateful run-in with that armadillo, Randy.