Ask Susie

Ask Susie By: Susie

Q: Dear Susie,

I am a single, Southern woman with a lot to offer. I recently broke up with my boyfriend after five (what I thought were) amazing years. During those years you could say that I kind of lost touch with the fashion world, or as my ex boyfriend put it, “got all frumpy.” So, now that I’ve mended my wounds and am ready to get back into the dating scene I need to sass myself up a bit to attract a new mate. Help me, Susie!

Sincerely,

Fashionably Challenged

A: Dear Fashionably Challenged,

Susie always says that it’s not just the outer beauty that attracts men (although it sure does help some), but it’s actually the inner beauty that will trap your new guy and make you forget all about that no good for nothin’ cowboy who broke your heart.

With that said, the inner beauty can only do so much without the outer beauty meeting you half way. So, I suggest if you want to meet a new beau you should consider wearing a bright colored sundress while the weather is still hot. To show of those legs of yours, although not too much leg… you don’t want to go attracting the wrong kind of man. Colors that melt a man’s heart are Sea Green and Daisy Yellow. Try wearing those color schemes to your local harvest festival or the Country Square-dance coming up. Because if you do, there’s no doubt in my mind you’ll be handing out numbers left and right to all the men waiting to ask you out! Honey, you deserve it!

Yours truly,

Susie

Q: Dear Susie,

I attend Bluebell Community Church every Sunday (which is more than I can say for some, ahem, younger citizens of this town), and like every other self-respecting, churchgoing lady, I wear my Sunday best. Sometimes, however, it’s nearly impossible to see Reverend Mayfair over the bigger hats of other congregants! I don’t want to name names, but really – what is the appropriate size for a hat in church, and what is one to do about the offending chapeaus?

Respectfully,

Hat Chat

A: Dear Hat Chat,

First of all, let me commend you on your commitment to fellowship. Everyone should take a few hours out of their busy lives for quiet contemplation with family, friends and neighbors. It’s also just plain fun to see people looking their best, and let’s face it – many Sunday outfits just aren’t complete without a hat. But we mustn’t forget that church isn’t all about the fashion, and we must choose our accessories with courtesy in mind. Brim width should not extend past the shoulders, and decorative elements should not supplement one’s natural height by more than an inch or two. Though, in the spirit of community, I hope you can forgive those hat-wearing transgressors and remember that it is the Reverend’s words that are most important, anyway.

Yours truly,

Susie

Q: Dear Susie,

Like any proper lady, I wear stockings every day. I try to be careful, but they always get runs and holes no matter what I do! It’s a most unseemly situation, but buying new hose constantly is getting expensive. Is there some way to fix the stockings I already have?

Sincerely,

Running Up A Bill

A: Dear Running,

Rest assured, you are not the first reader to write in with this question. If you’re buying new stockings every time, the cost can indeed add up fast. But with just a dab of clear nail polish, you can save the ones you already own! First of all, act fast while the hole is still small, because nylon can unravel faster than a Founder’s Day parade. Stop the run in its tracks by dabbing the nail polish around the edges of the hole to seal any loose ends, and wipe away any excess before it dries and voila – problem solved. Just don’t glue them to your leg! Good luck!

Yours truly,

Susie

Q: Dear Susie,

I just hosted my annual famous tea in October, where I brew the world’s most delicious sweet tea recipe handed down from my great Gran. Now, everyone knows when you attend one of my teas you must be dressed in proper formal attire. Everyone also should know that you should know that you should not wear white after Labor Day. Well… a couple of women, who I shall not name, showed up in their Sunday whites. I was utterly appalled! But then I thought maybe I was just being old fashioned and traditional (not that there’s anything wrong with that). So, I thought I’d leave it up to the expert. Is wearing white allowed after Labor Day? (Please say no.)

Best Wishes,

Fight About White

A: Dear Fight About White,

I cannot tell you how many times this question is in hot debate around here. As a traditional, Southern lady I do hold to not wearing white after Labor Day. Even though down in Alabama it doesn’t get too chilly come fall or winter, I still believe that wearing white should remain only in the spring and summer seasons. However, if you are just itching for some white in your wardrobe, try accessorizing. Accent your outfit with some white jewelry or white lace in your Sunday Church hat or a white bag or even a white belt. Because sugar, why not have the best of both worlds?

Yours truly,

Susie