I can’t hold it in any longer. Lately, the hubby and I have been discussing baby names. Now don’t get too excited, friends! We haven’t been blessed with that little bundle of joy quite yet! But thanks to Dr. Hart, we may not be too far off. Unfortunately, since most of you, my faithful but certainly most beloved readers, are likely not Belles, I cannot disclose the secrets of my recent… difficulties. Suffice to say, what once was barren is now as fertile as the banks of the Mississippi! Please don’t consider me coarse for being so direct but I’m just so excited!
Speaking of the good doctor, have you all heard the news? Well—are you sitting down for this?—it turns out that our town doctor paid a visit to her few living relations and found out that she’s a legacy! That’s right, ladies and gentlemen: Yankee native Doctor Zoe Hart is in fact a southern belle! I know, I could barely believe it myself. I’m sure it goes without question that Lemon was none too pleased at this news. In fact, she suggested we reinstate the old tradition of initiating new Belles into the group. It may seem a little on the mean side, but it really ended up being so much fun! Also, I (and by “I” I mean Dr. Hart) got so many things done that I’ve been meaning to get done for quite a while! My car is immaculate, the dog looks like a little furry princess, those dust bunnies behind the fridge have finally been slain, and I think anyone would mistake Jake’s mama’s toenails for Shania Twain’s if they weren’t inclined to look up!
Oh, how about Tallulah Belle? Maybe not. Seems to be a little on the husky side, doesn’t it? In case you’re wondering, we’re not discussing boy names because little boy names are easy. Jacob Junior. We’d call him Junior and dress him up just like his daddy. My goodness, I cannot wait to buy those little miniature suits! And those tiny little shoes… I feel like I could just about burst from thinking about it!
Anyway, Dr. Hart took it all in stride. Juicing a hundred lemons, getting pelted with paintballs (never experienced this myself but I hear it hurts), and goodness knows what Lemon subjected the poor girl to. All that on top of solving my little problem on the side. That Wilkes clan is made up of some pretty tough stuff! I honestly don’t know if I could handle the abuse the way she did. Maybe Zoe Hart isn’t so bad after all. I still think my milkshake idea would have been awfully funny though.
Annabelle Lee. Wait. For some reason I can’t put my finger on that one just seems a bit… dark.
Anyway. Thanks to Ms. Hart’s… perseverance… in the face of adversity, I can now openly dedicate my time to researching the most successful (and most Christian) methods of conception. Wish me luck! And when the stars above finally decide to bless us with the prospect of a bouncing baby girl or boy (let’s hope for a little girl!), you all will be the first to know! After my husband, my mother, his mama, my daddy, his daddy, my cousins, and the other Belles of course.
In the end, Zoe Hart might have decided the Southern Belle lifestyle isn’t for her, but in my mind she’ll still be one of us in the honorary sense. Just this once, in honor of her efforts, you can all say it with me now:
I AM A BELLE A SOUTHERN BELLE A DIXIE BELLE A ‘BAMA BELLE AND I HAVE SECRETS I WON’T TELL, IF Y’ALL DON’T LIKE IT GO TO HELLO SOLDIER WHAT’S YOUR PLEASURE?
What does it mean? I’ll never tell! I’m proud to be a Southern Belle! God bless, y’all! ‘Til next time!